April 24, 2010 7 Comments
I’m amazed at the number of comments on the prior post. I wouldn’t have imagined it to be such a popular (and not necessarily in a good way) post. I feel as if I didn’t do a particularly great job of explaining what exactly happened and I wrote the post without further consulting the other eight people who are still in the guild that were in the raid (including The Mrs.). I’ll try and clarify everything today, and hopefully put this behind me and move on.
First, there were a lot of people showing empathy toward the ex-guildie because I initially stated that he wasn’t the one that dropped the second train. That point is no longer valid, as it has been confirmed by multiple people that he was. I’m not sure how the information got to me that he didn’t drop it, but it happens.
Second, there was a lot going on in whispers between The Mrs and the now ex-guildie that I didn’t know about, because she was in no emotional state to talk about it that evening, and I didn’t get a chance to talk to her before work. I won’t be giving specifics (if you want her whole side of the story, check the comments in the prior post), but if it’s bad enough to make my wife break down and cry, I think you know who I’m siding with. What we all thought was a joke kick, turned out to be much more serious. I would have known that if she and I played in the same room, but we prefer to play WoW in separate rooms.
I have since discovered that the player had been asked to cut out his behavior, which turned out to be more than the train, multiple times before he was kicked. Retrospectively, it wasn’t so much a power trip thing, but a final warning by a person who felt they had no other recourse. In the aftermath of this event, several guildies have been sharing information with me that they had previously kept to themselves, and in contrast to the many comments of “losing a valuable guild member” that I received in the last 36 or so hours, this might be the best thing for all involved, including the now ex-member.
Speaking of that, I was informed of his swift application to a highly ranked progression raiding guild on the server soon after the incident. They leave their applications public so I took a look and out of courtesy, extended a letter to their guild leader praising his quality as a player, but correcting some misinformation in the app about our guild and himself. Coincidentally, the same thing was done three months ago when he applied for our guild, and the leader of the prior guild contacted me. In the end, everything she said turned out to be true.
I’m sure some people think I’m a jerk for sending that letter, and others might even praise me for giving the other guild a heads up. Whether or not the accept him, is their call. I do wish the player the best, and I did nothing to discredit his qualifications as a player; in fact I praised his qualities as a player. I just felt that the the other leader might want to have a more accurate explanation of why he was no longer in our guild.
I try to remind people that there’s a real person behind the character on the screen, and I felt that some of the comments yesterday sent that back to me as if I didn’t understand that point. I personally feel pain and loss from this, even if it turns out to be what’s best for everyone. Bucklers is like a second family to me. We’re a close group of individuals that value having each other around more than being a successful raiding guild. In fact, without that closeness, I doubt that we’d be as successful as we are.
Flipping that back on some of the people who posted, I know that real people read and write here, and I do my very best not to tell people how to play their game, and I certainly don’t tell people how to run their guild. I have no need to justify how we do things to anyone here; I do my best to explain them though. I might have been a bit remiss in that in the first post, but I’ll do my best to clarify it here in a moment. The bottom line is passing judgement on me, my guild or even the player who left was never in the intention of that post, or any post. All I asked is if you thought he made the right decision in leaving, which now is a moot point, because there was far more to the situation that I could have possibly known at the time. My only request for comments is that people keep them constructive and not use the site as a pulpit to preach their beliefs.
In closing, I’ll try again to explain the joke gkick thing, because the backlash from the prior post makes me think that I’m failing to do Bucklers justice in my explanation. First and foremost, it’s usually officers kicking other officer alts, and even at that it happens very rarely. There are only 3 officers that I know to do it, and one of them is my brother, so I’m not likely to change the behavior. There are two designated officers who actually gkick for real. One is myself, and the other is Lyndiana, who I’m sure you’ve seen in my comments from time to time. No one is ever seriously kicked from the guild without an officer meeting. In addition, players are free to play the joke the other way and gquit for fun too. Again, this is not something that occurs often but is just something inherent to the nature of our particular guild. Just as with the gkick, they’re almost always immediately re-invited.
Are there people who don’t participate in either of these guild traditions? You bet there are, and I’m one of them. But, just like the others who share that viewpoint, we wouldn’t change the culture of our guild. It’s just part of the way our guild works, and even those of us who don’t participate see no issue with it.
If these are things that you would not do, that’s fine. I’m not asking you to. I know that my guild is a happy and active one, and I don’t intend to change anything about it without consulting them first. This is a guild we’re talking about, not best in slot gear, there is no best way for a guild to be run. I’ll defend the way we run ours until we all decide it’s time for it to end. That day, by the way, will be the last day I play WoW. To quote one of my favorite guild members, and a good friend: ”If I’m not playing with Bucklers, I’m not playing at all.”